


Solitude

by LeedlingwithRageHappy



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Loneliness, M/M, One Shot, joelay - Freeform, practice writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeedlingwithRageHappy/pseuds/LeedlingwithRageHappy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray has a bad night</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solitude

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I feel like this, but writing it out seems to make things better, so here it is

Something in the pit of Ray’s stomach didn’t feel right. He couldn’t place it, but he felt uncomfortable, sad, and even lonely despite the fact that he was at a party with some of his closest friends. He kept his smile on though and laughed at the jokes all while wishing he just didn’t exist at that moment. Finally, there was a break in the conversation and Ray politely left, using the bathroom as an excuse. Once away, Ray practically raced to an empty bedroom and closed the door behind him, not bothering to turn on the light, before sitting down on the bed. Inside, he felt his mind collapsing and he wanted to cry but nothing would come out. What was worse for him was that he couldn’t understand why he was feeling this way. Nothing had brought this on, yet suddenly it felt as if the world was against him and everything was a lie. 

Then, the door flew open causing Ray to whip his head up and stare right into the eyes of Joel. The two were caught in a thick silence, Ray wanting to scream at Joel to get out and Joel trying to find the words to apologize for bursting in.

“I-,” both started, Ray falling silent first.

“Sorry,” Joel mumbled out. “I thought the room was empty. I was just going to lay down, not feeling too hot.”

Ray nodded his understanding and Joel slowly closed the door, but for some reason, never took his eyes off the young man. As Ray went back into his mind, the heaviness increased inside, causing him to duck his head as soon as the door seemed closed. 

“You okay?” Joel’s voice interrupted and Ray nearly jumped at the sudden noise.

Joel was now standing in the room with the door closed behind him, his face now showing concern as he looked down at Ray. 

“Yeah,” Ray tried to say nonchalantly, but knew it sounded like he was faking it as soon as the word left his mouth. “I mean…” Trying to come up with an excuse, Ray gripped onto his knees as his mind raced and a lump formed in his throat. He thought about the loneliness that was plaguing his mind and before he could stop himself, his body began to shake as tears ran down his face. Ray couldn’t even think straight as his pain seemed to grow and small, choked sobs left his mouth. 

If Joel said anything, Ray couldn’t hear it, but instead felt warm, gentle hands rub his arms. It had been a long time since Ray had been touched like that, and while it made him feel a little better, the crying seemed to increase. 

He then felt his glasses being taken off and was suddenly engulfed in a hug, Joel now tracing small circles on Ray’s back. For Ray, it was such genuine caring that he didn’t know what to do as he let out one final sob, though the tears still flowed.

“It sucks when you feel that pit in your stomach, doesn’t it?” Joel spoke quietly. “And then people want to know why you feel that way, but there’s just no way to explain it. It’s like they think it’s something that can be fixed instantly and that you’re just being irrational.”

Ray felt a breath leave him at Joel’s words as he finally heard something that actually made sense and better yet, someone who seemed to understand. 

“It’ll go away, but unfortunately not forever. Just know that it’s okay to feel like this.” Joel slowly pulled back from Ray and did his best to try to look into Ray’s eyes.

Though his vision was still blurry because of his crying, Ray could tell that all of Joel at that moment was completely genuine. He tried to give a smile, but a few more tears spilled out of his eyes and Ray looked away, embarrassed by his outburst. 

“Want to lay down for a bit until people start looking for us?” Joel suggested, taking one of Ray’s hands in his own. 

Ray stared at their hands for a moment as his mind began to wonder where this Joel had been all along and why he was jumping right into trusting a man that he barely talked to at work, let alone company parties. However, Joel’s proposition was sounding nicer by the second and Ray found himself nodding as Joel took the lead to lay down first. 

Tentatively putting his glasses back on after wiping away the last of his tears, Ray laid down next to Joel and decided to face the other man, hoping that he would hear more comforting words from him.

“I suppose this isn’t the best time,” Joel began, “But, I’ve always liked you, Ray. You’re brave and smart, I wish I had been more like you when I was your age.”

Ray’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he had always thought Joel was someone who had control over his life. If anything, Ray secretly wanted to have whatever Joel was having just to have more structure in his life.

As if reading Ray’s mind, Joel shook his head with a small laugh. “I really don’t have my life together. I stress out over the stupidest things and when that weight comes crashing down, it’s like I have to start all over again.” 

Ray thought to himself before finally finding the courage to speak. “What do you do when you feel like this?”

Joel let out a heavy sigh, but still managed to give Ray a semblance of a smile. “I guess I just let it happen. I’m not going to be happy all the time. Hell, I’d hardly give myself even that. I’m so much in my own head that I feel like I forget to be happy.”

Ray’s face faltered for a moment and he knew Joel saw it as the man scrambled to find something else to say.

“It’s always nice to have someone to help you through it though. Someone to take care of you when the tears come.”

“So, does that mean I can go to you sometimes?” Ray asked shyly.

Joel’s face seemed to glow at these words and he reached out to pull Ray in close to him. “Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

Ray almost started crying again, but stopped himself to instead curl into Joel and the warmth the man brought. Both men let out a contented sigh at the same time and Ray slowly started drifting off, his body exhausted from the turmoil it had gone through. Unfortunately, the silence didn’t last for long as drunken calls for Ray and Joel began to flood down the hallway followed by what was assumed to be people bumping into the walls. 

“Ready to go face the masses? I can take you home right after if you want too,” Joel breathed out.

“That would be great,” Ray finally smiled and was the first to sit up on the bed. 

Joel let out a groan as the men headed out of the room, but immediately put on a face as he and Ray explained to their friends that they had some work to catch up on. Finally free of their friends’ clinginess, Ray began to relax in the passenger seat of Joel’s car as the man backed out of the driveway and onto the main road. Ray could see the stars out as Joel zoomed down the road and he couldn’t help smile to himself at the simplicity of it all. Who would’ve guessed that the man whom he knew the least was the one who understood him the most? Though there was still a lingering numbness in his body, Ray thought of Joel’s words and felt himself slowly coming back together with the hopes that tomorrow would be a better day and perhaps one with Joel right at his side.


End file.
